There’s something truly magical about the bond between horse and human. It’s not just about riding or training—it’s about creating a connection that is built on trust, mutual respect, and understanding. Over the years, I’ve worked with countless horses and humans, and one thing I’ve learned is that building a bond doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, it’s often the simplest steps that lead to the strongest connections.
If you’re new to horses or just starting out, here are a few steps you can take to begin building that relationship.
Step 1: Show Up with Presence
When you’re around horses, your energy speaks louder than your words. Horses live in the moment, and they’ll pick up on what you’re bringing into their space. Before you approach your horse, take a moment to breathe deeply and centre yourself. Leave behind the stress of the day and focus on being present.
When you step into the paddock or approach your horse, move calmly and intentionally. Avoid rushing—horses appreciate steadiness. You’ll be surprised at how much your energy can influence their response.
Step 2: Spend Time Without an Agenda
One of the best ways to connect with your horse is to simply spend time with them, without expecting anything in return. Sit in the paddock, lean on the fence, or stand quietly near them while they graze. Let them approach you in their own time.
I’ve found that these quiet moments are where the magick happens. It’s during these times that your horse learns to trust you, not because you’re asking them to do something, but because you’re just there, sharing their space.
Step 3: Learn Their Language
Horses communicate through body language, and learning to read their signals is key to building a bond. Pay attention to their ears, eyes, and body posture. Are they relaxed and curious? Or are they tense and uncertain?
For beginners, I recommend starting by observing your horse from a distance. Watch how they interact with other horses or react to their environment. The more you understand their cues, the better you’ll be able to communicate with them.
Step 4: Gentle Grooming with Intention
Grooming isn’t just about keeping your horse clean—it’s a wonderful way to build trust and connection. Approach grooming as a moment of care and attention, not just a task to check off your list.
Use slow, deliberate strokes, paying attention to your horse’s responses. Do they lean into your brush? Move away? Grooming is a conversation, and it can reveal a lot about how your horse is feeling.
Step 5: Start Groundwork Exercises
Groundwork is a practical and effective way to strengthen your bond with your horse. Simple exercises like leading, stopping, gentle flexion and backing up can help establish trust and clear communication.
When working on groundwork, remember to be consistent and patient. Reward small successes and always approach each session with kindness. This isn’t about making your horse do something—it’s about working together to build understanding.
Step 6: Listen to Your Horse
Every horse is unique, and building a bond means respecting their individual personality and boundaries. Some horses are naturally curious and outgoing, while others may be more reserved or cautious.
Pay attention to what your horse is telling you through their behaviour. If they seem hesitant or unsure, take a step back and give them time and space. Building trust is a gradual process, and your horse will appreciate your patience.
Step 7: Celebrate the Small Moments
Building a bond with your horse isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about the little moments. The first time they nuzzle you, nicker when they see you, when you see them walk towards you in the paddock, or stand calmly by your side, these are the milestones that matter.
Take the time to acknowledge and celebrate these moments. They’re signs that your horse is beginning to trust you, and that trust is the foundation of everything else.
Building a bond with your horse or pony (like most things in life) is a journey, not a destination. It’s about creating a relationship that is rooted in trust, respect, and genuine connection. It won't happen overnight, but with patience and consistency, you’ll find that the bond you create is unlike anything else.
For me, these simple steps are the heart of what I do. It’s not about fancy techniques or quick fixes—it’s about showing up, being present, and allowing the relationship to grow naturally.
If you’re just beginning your journey with horses, take it one step at a time. Your horse will meet you where you are, and together, you’ll create something truly special.
“A horse doesn’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” – A truth that I carry with me every day.
Jess x
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